On the flight back to Jiangcheng, Bao Ruanruan slept the whole way. She had to rush back this time to record a dating varie...
On the flight back to Jiangcheng, Bao Ruanruan slept the whole way.
She had to rush back this time to record a dating variety show, so she travelled back early with a few older actresses and the make-up artist from the same production team.
With her hat, mask, and sunglasses on, she was confident that not even her enemies would recognise her.
Sitting among a group of cute and worldly little big sisters1 on the plane, Bao Ruanruan felt exceptionally safe and slept soundly.
As soon as she landed, Chen Feng took her luggage and headed to the nanny van in the underground car park.
"Tired?" Chen Feng asked, opening the van door for her.
Bao Ruanruan shook her head.
However, as soon as she saw the man reclining on the back seat through the open door, she froze.
Xue Jing's pair of peach-blossom eyes swept over her.
When their eyes met, she felt so guilty and flustered that she nearly stumbled.
Chen Feng: "???"
This poor kid must really be worn out.
He tossed a bottle of Red Bull to Bao Ruanruan.
Usually, Bao Ruanruan would never accept this kind of energy drink.
But today, she just held it in a daze.
She felt so guilty that she couldn't think straight.
She hurriedly glanced at the back seat of the car, but then didn't dare look again.
She was especially afraid to look... at the man's lips in the back seat.
Mm.
One look was enough to remind her of the dream she'd had in the snowy mountains.
In the dream, she became that female college student, walking through the snowy mountains and feeling increasingly hot until she collapsed.
An abnormal heat surged up, numbing her central nervous system.
She felt as though she was going to die.
Suddenly, she burst into tears of sorrow.
But, overcome with despair, she suddenly remembered the golden rule from The Love Manual.
—Kisses can make you live longer.
Bao Ruanruan instantly regained hope.
She dashed forward and pinned the man down in the snow.
She kissed him again and again.
It was as if she were biting into Tang Monk2, one mouthful at a time.
In her dream, Bao Ruanruan carefully counted—she kissed him 119 times in total.
Adding her current age, she could probably live to about 142.
When she woke up in the morning, she was laughing in bed like a twisted dough twist📹麻花卷 (máhuā juàn) .
Hugging her pillow, she basked in her little happiness for another ten minutes before getting up.
She hadn't noticed anything in her dream, and when she woke up the next day, she didn't feel anything was wrong either.
But now, when she saw Xue Jing's pair of peach blossom eyes in the back seat…
The string in her head snapped.
—Why did her agent look exactly like the 'tool man3' from her dream?
"What are you doing, Xiao Baozi?"
When Chen Feng saw her sitting there, dumbfounded, he turned his head from the driver's seat to look at her.
"......"
"Ahem, nothing much. I was just thinking about some shortcuts to longevity."
Chen Feng: "...?"
In the back seat, Xue Jing lifted his peach-blossom eyes and glanced at the little girl, who was behaving unusually odd today.
Since returning from the snowy mountain, not only had the little girl not tanned, but her whole face was glowing as if it had absorbed the pure, untainted snowmelt from the mountaintop.
However, when she opened the car door, she shot him a glance and acted like she wanted to flee in a hurry, just like a startled little bird.
She sat stiffly in the front seat, and when she fastened her seatbelt, it was half a beat slower than usual.
There was still a faint flush of pink at the back of her snow-white neck.
Xue Jing lowered his gaze, fixing his eyes on that stretch of skin.
His fingers itched to reach for the cigarettes in his pocket.
Yet he forcibly stopped himself.
"What shortcut to longevity? Xiao Baozi, did you run into a pyramid scheme or a fake medicine seller on the mountain? I'm telling you, don't just add strangers to WeChat! If you want any snow lotuses from the mountain, just tell me or Brother Xue — don't buy anything recklessly at tourist spots."
Chen Feng fired off words like a machine gun.
When Bao Ruanruan heard this topic, her attention was immediately diverted.
She instantly grew interested.
She didn't even have time to continue blushing.
"Brother Feng, you can even tell real snow lotuses from fakes?"
Xue Jing glanced at her profile. "If it's brittle and fragile in texture, and the petals are less than two centimetres long, then it's not genuine."
Chen Feng chuckled. "Xiao Baozi, you can trust what Brother Xue says."
Bao Ruanruan thought to herself, What a shame.
This Tang Monk2 is so full of knowledge—eating him will truly be a waste of heaven's gifts.
She immediately pulled out a little notebook and jotted down the important information Xue Jing had said.
She tilted her face slightly, writing with focus.
A strand of jet-black bangs slipped down, and, from the side view, it could be seen that it had rested against her curled eyelashes as it trembled lightly.
Xue Jing propped his head up with one hand and watched her with a raised eyebrow.
The car drove all the way to Bao Ruanruan's apartment building.
Chen Feng jumped out first and grabbed her luggage. However, just as he was about to hit the gas4 after saying goodbye, he realised the person in the back seat had also disappeared.
"Brother Xue, where are you going?"
Bao Ruanruan had always been very protective of her private space.
She usually never lets people walk her upstairs.
Chen Feng was dumbfounded to see Xue Jing trailing after her out of the car. "What? Are you desperate to pee and planning to borrow Xiao Baozi's bathroom?"
"…"
Xue Jing couldn't figure out how Chen Feng had survived in the Chen family all these years with that mouth of his.
He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his trouser pocket and shook it.
Chen Feng let out an 'Oh' and then simply exited the car.
He took out his pack of Panda cigarettes and stood beside Xue Jing.
There happened to be a cigarette butt bin by the loquat tree downstairs in the complex.
Looking up, they could see Bao Ruanruan's apartment.
"Xiao Baozi's all about health and wellness. I haven't dared smoke in front of her for ages."
Xue Jing glanced at him, but said nothing.
He took a few drags, the cigarette ember flaring and dimming with each drag.
He glanced upstairs.
"She lives on the 7th floor?"
"Yeah, she thinks the top and ground floors are unsafe, so she likes this 'neither too high nor too low' height..."
Before Chen Feng had finished speaking, the person beside him had already disappeared.
Xue Jing stubbed out the half-smoked cigarette in the ash box.
He lifted his foot and walked into the building.
"Call her. Her apartment lights haven't come on."
"Huh? F*ck!"
Chen Feng immediately reacted, fumbling for his phone in his pocket!
Before the call could even connect—
—A slim figure darted out of the building entrance at full speed.
With a little 'oof', she crashed into Xue Jing's chest.
Her soft, delicate body brushed against his shirt in the night air and trembled slightly.
Xue Jing's jaw tightened; he felt like his chest was on fire.
"Ying5, there's someone in the stairwell!"
"!"
Bao Ruanruan trembled all over, clutching her small backpack, not even bothering to take her suitcase.
"Holy sh*t! Who's got the balls to dig earth on the head of the Taisui6!"
Chen Feng exploded in fury and dashed upstairs in an instant.
Xue Jing glanced at Bao Ruanruan's tender, pale hand clutching the button of his shirt.
It took him a moment to regain his composure.
He took off his suit jacket and wrapped it around her trembling body from behind to shield the side of her face.
This way, the paparazzi wouldn't get a shot of her.
Otherwise, she would be trending on the hot search the next day.
"How did you know? I think there are two reporters upstairs, ying5 ying5 ying5..."
Xue Jing: "............"
Xue Jing forced himself to take a deep breath. "Go to the car, lock all the doors, and don't come out."
"Okay!"
Bao Ruanruan clutched the suit jacket, still trembling with lingering fear.
Only after hearing the car doors lock did Xue Jing lower his peach-blossom eyes, a trace of coldness flashing through them. He looked up at the seventh floor.
Then he stepped into the elevator in the hallway.
Half a minute later, the elevator doors opened on the seventh floor.
Chen Feng was holding two strangers who were tied up like zongzi📹... One of them even had a camera hanging from his neck.
Xue Jing narrowed his eyes and glanced at Chen Feng's biceps.
"All that training wasn't for nothing."
Hearing this, Chen Feng scrunched up his face.
He shoved the two men into the elevator, his expression shifting between awkwardness and shock.
"Boss... it wasn't me who did it."
Xue Jing raised an eyebrow. "?"
"It was Xiao Baozi who tied them up."
"Yes, it's that Xiao Baozi who just came running down crying 'ying-ying5' just now…"
Xue Jing: "……."
The two reporters trembled as if they were leaves caught in the wind.
"I was wrong!"
"Even if you beat me to death, I'll never again squat around spying on Bao Ruanruan—no, I mean Teacher Bao!"
"Help!"
Chen Feng: "……"
Xue Jing: "……"
An hour later:
Chen Feng finally walked out of the police station, looking dazed as if he had just woken up from a dream.
"Those d@mn paparazzi!"
They turned out to be so easily scared.
Even their combat level was so low… that they could easily be tied up in a flash… and sent to the police station just like that.
They didn't even give him a chance to show off his Taekwondo black belt skills.
"D@mn it!"
Before Bao Ruanruan went to film on the snowy mountain, her popularity had skyrocketed thanks to online variety shows, and entertainment reporters had already set their sights on her.
Several gossip accounts wanted to dig into her life again to see if they could find any fresh scoop.
Especially recently, with her breakthrough show The Assistant alongside Yang Xueni, even more people have become curious about the truth behind the incident involving her, Tang Yuxin, and Lu Wenyao.
It now seemed that she and Yang Xueni weren't mortal enemies. In fact, it was highly likely that she and Tang Yuxin also bore no new enmities or old hatreds.
The truth was starting to come to light!
Everyone was growing restless and itching to take action.
Some people had even started tailing her and staking out her whereabouts.
However, after having a few sips of hot water in the van, Bao Ruanruan finally calmed down and overcame her fear.
She couldn't stop thinking about it and was still rather annoyed. "How could someone have followed me? I'm always so careful when I go in and out."
"Hey, female warrior, this one's on me," Chen Feng admitted, feeling guilty. "I didn't expect your popularity to blow up so fast."
Bao Ruanruan: "......"
"At the time, I put you in a normal residential neighbourhood, thinking you'd be stuck with minor appearances for at least half a year as a total 18th-tier7 nobody. But who would've thought… you'd shoot up to a '1.8-tier8' star so soon!"
Bao Ruanruan: "......!"
So it was true—showbiz really was a dangerous place.
After Chen Feng had finished speaking, he heard no reply from Bao Ruanruan.
When he turned around, he saw her packing her bags again!
Chen Feng: "!"
Damn! He broke out in a cold sweat.
"Xiao Bao, don't be rash. Don't leave. We can talk this through!"
You weren't this timid just now when you were practically kidnapping people!
But this time, Bao Ruanruan just shook her head. "I'm not leaving."
If she had decided to quit the entertainment industry a few months ago, then so be it.
But now there were people already staking her out.
It was already too late for her to quit.
Even if she did, where else could she go?
"So what are you doing?"
"I'm reviewing the housing analysis notes I made earlier."
In the back seat, Xue Jing stopped flipping through his files and raised an eyebrow.
Lowering his gaze, he noticed the buttons on his shirt were now uneven, thanks to the girl's trembling fingers picking at them just moments ago.
She really did need to take notes.
Her memory was terrible.
Seven seconds ago, she had done something to him, and now she was already pretending it wasn't her responsibility?
However, the next second, the girl's soft, moist voice rang out, making it impossible for him to stay angry.
"Jiangcheng, let me check the top residential communities with first-class security that I looked up before."
"?"
"First place, Beijiao No. 1, 329,000 per square metre, no listings available, ying5; second place, Tang Harbour Bay, 299,000 per square metre, no listings, ying5; third place, Lu…"
As she read, she let out wails of utter misery.
No money, no listings.
She was doomed.
That was why she'd been considering moving to the imperial capital, Yanjing, lately.
But before she could even finish reading, Chen Feng slapped his thigh in the driver's seat and exclaimed, 'Aha!'
"Xiao Baozi, so you've had your eye on Brother Xue's place all along!"
Bao Ruanruan: "!"
"Brother Xue, isn't there still a vacant unit across from yours at Beijiao No. 1?"
I can't believe the one beside me is a big shot with a hundred bodyguards!
Bao Ruanruan's eyes lit up and sparkled.
She instantly looked at Xue Jing— I must have his… bodyguards!
"I can pay rent~"
Xue Jing suddenly felt like he was the King Ginseng of Changbai Mountain, being hunted by poachers.
He pressed his index finger against the spot between his brows.
"You can settle here tonight and look for a place to rent tomorrow morning."
An agent living directly across the hall from his own female artist.
Does that even sound proper?
"No problem, I'll lock my door at night."
Xue Jing: "……"
Beijiao No. 1 was in the very heart of Jiangcheng.
From the high-rise buildings, you could overlook most of the city's scenery, with both the night lights and the sunrise falling perfectly into view.
This luxury complex had a hundred guards on rotating shifts and private butlers who were always on hand. From the day it opened, prices skyrocketed and acquiring even one unit became almost impossible.
Logically, at a price of 320,000 per square metre—a rate that practically screams 'slaughtering the fat pigs9'—this had to be a residence for the rich. Designing it as a luxury duplex or small villa would therefore have made sense.
However, Beijiao No. 1 had just two units per floor.
Each unit was under 200 square metres and was built according to the 'small but refined' design philosophy.
Back then, Xue Jing bought the entire floor: units A and B.
They were right across from each other.
The other unit was still vacant.
"Back when they were developing this area, they brought in a feng shui master from Hong Kong. He said that the spot was too prosperous, and that ordinary people wouldn't be able to handle the energy, which would rebound and backfire on them."
Chen Feng dragged Bao Ruanruan's suitcase for her, muttering superstitiously all the way.
"So they redrew the design overnight, turning the ground floor into a dual-unit layout to symbolise the endless cycle of yin and yang."
Bao Ruanruan listened, utterly entranced.
At that moment, she felt like a mouse that had fallen into a vat of rice and oil10.
Should she nibble the rice first or drink the oil? She was completely stumped.
Prosperity!
Endless vitality!
This was her destined home!
"My dear agent, my dear landlord, if you decide to sell the place across the hall, please tell me. From today onwards, I'll work like an ox and a horse11, toiling and running around for you~"
Xue Jing: "......!"
In Bao Ruanruan's head, the calculator was already clicking away.
Two hundred square metres, with a total price soaring to 64 million.
Rounded up, she'd need to earn at least a hundred million before tax to have enough left over to buy this heaven's chosen house12.
If she worked hard enough, there was still hope before retirement.
But this heaven's chosen house12 was really one of those cases where it had a price but no market.
Looking at Xue Jing, Bao Ruanruan felt that he had many other appealing qualities besides his kissable lips and gentle voice.
However, Xue Jing just chuckled and heartlessly told her, "Good night."
Then he closed the door across the hall.
Bao Ruanruan: "......"
"Good night, Xiao Baozi. If you have any problems, call me. I live on the 10th floor of Block A, just upstairs from you."
Bao Ruanruan: "............"
Who said entertainers make the most money?
That is a lie!
That night, the housekeeper at Beijiao No.1 delivered her a clean set of fresh bedding.
All brand new, freshly washed.
Sleeping on a latex mattress of just the right firmness, Bao Ruanruan felt an unusual sense of comfort.
It was as if she were sitting on a throne in a kingdom formed by security guards holding hands in a human chain.
Safe!
The next morning, Bao Ruanruan happily enjoyed breakfast on the viewing balcony before setting off for the dating show set, glowing with energy.
Once again, she was the first to arrive at the studio.
Seeing her arrive early again, Zhong Zeyuan wasn't surprised anymore.
He felt guilty for once suspecting that her good behaviour was just part of a crafted persona.
If someone behaves well once or twice, it might be for show.
But if they behaved well consistently and unwaveringly every time, then that was their true virtue.
"Xiao Bao."
Zhong Zeyuan greeted her warmly.
Of all the guests on the dating show, he valued Bao Ruanruan the most and hoped she would never miss an episode.
Unfortunately, however, Bao Ruanruan was an actress and, having joined two filming crews back-to-back, she had already missed two recordings.
In an attempt to fill the void left by her absence, the production team deliberately invited another funny guest with variety-show charisma. However, this guest still wasn't as hilarious as her.
This resulted in a slight drop in viewership for the last two episodes.
Zhong Zeyuan was starting to get a little anxious.
He was starting to realise that the show's successful debut owed more than half its credit to the chemistry between the guests and perhaps even mostly to Bao Ruanruan.
As the director, he himself had contributed very little to the programme.
In today's directing scene, Zhong Zeyuan's name still didn't carry much weight.
So, as soon as the livestream camera was on, the usually off-screen director Zhong Zeyuan earnestly sought advice from Bao Ruanruan.
"Teacher Bao, since Teacher Xueni will be a few minutes late, shall we chat first? Do you think there are areas where our show could improve?"
[!]
[Our kid Ruan has made it big— even the director's asking her for advice?]
[If you've seen the trending topic, you wouldn't be surprised— #TheEscapeDirector'sLifeOfBeingToyedWith#. Director Zhong really can't outplay Xiao Bao.]
[Director: I'm scared, I'm scared— from now on, whatever you say goes!]
[Hahahaha! An artist who went from the guest seat to the director's chair!]
As Zhong Zeyuan spoke, Qu Feifei and Xiao Qi, who were in the guest area, nearly slipped under the table.
The others also averted their eyes.
This question was tricky.
They were terrified that the director would suddenly look their way and throw them the same question on a whim.
How were they supposed to answer that?
Was the director expecting criticism or praise?
They just couldn't figure it out!
But Bao Ruanruan, holding her water cup, looked at the bronze-man Zhong Zeyuan in surprise. "Are you asking me?"
Zhong Zeyuan nodded. "Yes, because your way of looking at things is quite unique, Teacher Bao."
[Hahahahaha!]
[A beast-style way of thinking, of course, is unique.]
[Turning an escape game into Bao Ruanruan 'dominating the garden' is definitely something special, hehe.]
On camera, Bao Ruanruan modestly said,
"Well, I do have a question, though I'm not sure if I should bring it up."
Zhong Zeyuan perked up his ears.
"This is a dating show, right?"
Bao Ruanruan recently reviewed all the important health-related sections in the Love Manual.
"In the cabin, will they… do some adult things?"
Zhong Zeyuan: "!"
All the guests: "!"
[ ! ! ]
Footnotes Full List
- 小姐姐 (xiǎojiějie) → Modern slang for attractive, stylish, often slightly older young women; carries a tone of admiration or affection.
- 唐僧 (tángsēng) is a reference to the Buddhist monk from Journey to the West, whose flesh was believed to grant immortality if eaten. This is a humorous metaphor: her kisses are likened to "eating Tang Monk," each kiss extending her life.
- 工具人 (gōngjù rén) is slang for someone who is used instrumentally, like a background character whose only role is to help fulfil tasks, not valued for themselves.
- 踩油门 (cǎiyóumén) → slangy phrasing, used figuratively for "drive off quickly."
- 嘤 (ying) → an internet slang mimicking a pitiful, whining sob.
- 在太岁头上动土 (zài tàisuìtóushàngdòngtǔ) → idiom. Taisui is a powerful celestial deity in Chinese folk belief. This phrase means "to provoke someone extremely powerful / to court disaster by offending the wrong person."
- 18线明星 (18 xiàn míngxīng/18th-tier star): a self-deprecating slang label for someone completely unknown, buried so deep they're "18 tiers below" stardom.
- 1.8线 (1.8 xiàn) a pun. It pretends she "levelled up" from 18th-tier to "1.8th-tier." It's not a real ranking—it jokingly means she's still not A-list, but far more visible and hard to hide anymore. In Chinese fandom, it's a tongue-in-cheek way to describe someone stuck between obscurity and stardom.)
- 宰肥猪 (zǎi féizhū) → slang/metaphor for overcharging wealthy people who can afford to pay without complaint.
- 老鼠掉进了浸着大米的油缸 (lǎoshǔ diào jìn le jìn zhe dàmǐ de yóugāng): a metaphor for being overwhelmed by abundance, not knowing what to enjoy first.
- 做牛做马 (zuòniúzuòmǎ): idiom meaning to work extremely hard, self-sacrificingly.
- 天选之房 (tiān xuǎn zhī fáng): slangy/metaphorical expression meaning "heaven's chosen house," the perfect, destined property.
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