Dating reality shows were no longer a novel concept in this country. It was hard for any programme of this kind to offer anyt...
Dating reality shows were no longer a novel concept in this country.
It was hard for any programme of this kind to offer anything new.
But C-Channel unexpectedly managed to do just that!
Its dignified dating show had become an exciting scene reminiscent of a bunch of primary school kids making bets!
Ever since Yang Xueni lost last time, everyone had known the consequences of losing to Bao Ruanruan.
Thus, Jiang Xu flatly refused.
Would he be that crazy?
Why would he give up being a perfectly good host just to gamble?
Why take on such unnecessary consequences?
Brimming with excitement, Xiao Qi urged, "Brother Jiang, let's play together!"
Jiang Xu: "......"
Meanwhile, Qu Feifei and Yang Xueni were clearly reluctant.
Ever the shrewd one, Yang Xueni glanced warily at Bao Ruanruan and retreated to the second line1. "I'm sitting this round out—I already played last time. Those of you who haven't can give it a try."
If someone else got unlucky, that was none of her business.
No wonder your popularity is so bad…
Jiang Xu shot her a speechless glance but couldn't make it too obvious, for fear of angering her.
Zhou Minwen, ever the cheerful nice guy, pointed out, "Then it's just the few of us."
The corner of Jiang Xu's mouth twitched.
Back during Great Escape, he'd already heard that Zhou Minwen and Xiao Qi had sold him out2.
So now they wanted to drag him into the water3?
Dream on.
Jiang Xu: "Let's take a look at the dating situations of the three couples."
He switched the topic just like that!
[What a pity, Jiang Xu just dodged a disaster.]
[I couldn't watch the good drama now—what a shame.]
[Forget it. Ruanruan can trick people on another variety show next time. Everyone's already on their guard with this one.]
After everyone had finished sighing regretfully, they were soon captivated by the Kai-Xuan CP's sweet date.
The Kai-Xuan couple's sweetness was off the charts.
During the date, Chen Kaiwei showed not only his gentlemanly and elite side, but also an uncommon sense of fun and romantic flair.
He chatted and joked throughout the journey, making Li Xuan grin from ear to ear.
He even stopped specially to buy her the legendary delicious sausages and rice dumplings at a rest stop.
"Don't worry if you can't finish it."
"I'll take care of the leftovers."
[Wow!]
[Good grief, I'm going to get diabetes from all this sweetness!]
[That's so swoon-worthy! When I was dating, my boyfriend wouldn't even touch my leftovers.]
[His boyfriend power is really off the charts.]
The live comments were full of praise, rolling in like a tidal wave.
Even the carefree Qu Feifei couldn't help but facepalm while wearing an 'auntie smile4' in the guest observation room.
Yang Xueni was just as absorbed.
However, when the camera panned to Bao Ruanruan, she was frowning.
Jiang Xu looked over at her with a smile. "Teacher Bao, you've never been in love, have you? That's why you don't have any experience. When I first fell in love, I even ate my girlfriend's leftovers—this is also a way of showing affection."
He was thirty this year and not some idol entertainer.
Therefore, he was not afraid to talk about his dating history.
"Love makes no distinction between yours and mine, and this way, the couple won't waste food."
Bao Ruanruan's expression grew solemn as she looked at Jiang Xu, as if she were glancing at a hermit sage who was unafraid of life and death.
She used to think love was just about kissing and perhaps gaining longevity through her partner—how shallow she had been!
"So this is what love really is."
Bao Ruanruan intoned with deep feeling.
"Among the earthly mortals, I ask: what is the love that binds couples together through life and death~ℹ️This line is from a poem by Yuan Haowen called Tomb of the Geese. It has also been rendered into a song by Zhou Shen in a show called 'Everlasting Classic'. Brother Jiang, I'm impressed!"
The way she looked at him was as though she were staring at a warrior marching bravely to his death!
Jiang Xu: "...?"
His scalp went numb.
This kind of praise was really unnecessary.
"Teacher Bao, it's not really a matter of life and death like that..."
"Sharing the same food allows plenty of saliva-borne diseases to spread," Bao Ruanruan said, waving her hand as if to tell him not to be modest.
"For example, intestinal virus infections, Helicobacter pylori, mumps—and even potentially fatal viral illnesses like the flu…"
"Brother Jiang, your love is truly moving."
Jiang Xu: "!"
?
Can someone please send Bao Ruanruan back to Mars?
[Pfft—]
[That's why you need a health check, hhhh]
[Is this what they call 'flaunting affection leads to an early demise'?]
[Hahaha! Honestly, my husband caught Helicobacter pylori📹 from eating at the company cafeteria—probably the plates weren't disinfected… or maybe a co-worker sprayed a bit of saliva while chatting and passed it on.]
[!]
[Oh my gosh, that can happen? What am I supposed to do about eating in the school cafeteria then?]
[Little-known fact: Over half the population of our country is infected with H. pylori, and children catch it easily. Since we usually don't use communal serving chopsticks at group meals or at home, it's easy for the whole family to become infected.
And if you help finish someone else's leftovers… well… better add an H. pylori test to your next medical checkup!]
[! I happen to have a physical check-up tomorrow!]
[D@mn… now I'm actually scared, what do I do?]
As the amusement park date continued, the heated discussion among the audience about how to prevent Helicobacter pylori infection had drifted into the dangers of not using communal chopsticks.
On screen, Chen Kaiwei pulled a blushing Li Xuan to ride the 'drop tower'.
High in the air, he wrapped an arm around the frightened girl's shoulders as she screamed.
The scenes were overflowing with 'pink bubble' sweetness, yet all the audience members were absent-minded.
However, Jiang Xu in the observation room was unaware of what had happened and thought that Chen Kaiwei must have received high praise again.
He shot Bao Ruanruan a proud look.
"Teacher Bao, do you still like the library?"
Bao Ruanruan nodded politely without speaking, simply lowering her head to write in her notebook.
[Camera, zoom in over there right now!]
[What's she writing?]
The live chat suddenly filled with curious comments.
Director Zhong Zeyuan was curious, too, and signalled to the cameraman.
The camera then zoomed in on Bao Ruanruan's desk.
There lay her small notebook on the desk—[Life-Safety Protection Notes (5)].
[!]
[What, it's already the fifth one?]
The longtime viewers were excited.
The newcomers, however, were completely baffled.
But soon, even they caught on.
Bao Ruanruan began to write a few lines:
—[Types of Amusement-Park Accidents and How to Handle Them]
[!]
—Background: This year, there have already been over 50 serious accidents involving injuries or deaths at amusement parks across the country.
—Types of accidents: roller coasters stalling mid-ride, the rotating pole of a swing chair snapping, miniature trains overturning…
—Likelihood: impossible to predict.
—Preventive measure: …don't go to amusement parks.
Bao Ruanruan hesitated for a moment before writing those final five words.
Then she lifted her pale, snow-white face and looked towards Jiang Xu, who was busy praising Chen Kaiwei.
She nodded politely.
[Pfft, pfft, pfft!]
[Jiang Xu: "Amusement parks are great, so romantic."
Bao Ruanruan smiled in agreement, but inwardly thought, "MMP5. "]
[Kiddo Ruan: "The amusement park was nice, but let's not go there again next time."]
[I'm laughing so hard I could die! Hhhh!]
The scene quickly moved on to the second couple's date.
At the shooting range, Male No. 2 performed well, but the girl never showed much interest.
[Sigh, no way. She still has Chen Kaiwei on her mind.]
[Her heart already has an owner6, nothing to be done.]
[Guy No. 2 tried hard, but Kaiwei is just too strong.]
[Kiddo Ruan's Tip: Shooting range—high risk. How to avoid? Just don't go.]
[Hahahahaha!]
The shooting date almost became painfully awkward.
However, the on-screen comments were hilarious.
The big screen soon switched to the third pair's date.
Their library date turned out to be even more awkward.
They went to a three-storey suburban library. At one point, Male No. 3 left the girl on a different floor from him and buried himself in his book.
Only after he had finished his tea did he realise she was gone!
He hurriedly searched and finally found her on a different floor.
That evening, they grabbed a quick salad for dinner before heading back to the cottage.
This wasn't just an awkward lull anymore.
It was outright wrecking the date.
[…Must be from the Arctic, this dude.]
[If I've committed a crime, just punish me—don't make me watch a date this toe-curling awkwardness!]
[Bro, if you've been kidnapped into this date, just blink twice.]
[Taking a girl out for salad on a date!? The previous two dates were steak and hotpot!]
[He is cursed to be lonely for life.]
[Oh, Ruanruan misjudged him!]
[No, Ruanruan just thinks the library date feels safe… pffft pffft pffft!]
The third pair's date was the shortest.
There was barely any footage worth editing.
After watching this part, the audience understood clearly:
A library really is a place where you can't talk.
Anyone who wanted to reject a blind date should arrange to meet there!
It was guaranteed to flop and would definitely make the other person back off.
But it really did feel safe.
Ruanruan had personally certified it.
"Let's predict whether they'll change the person they've been texting as their crush after this date."
After watching this part, Jiang Xu smiled with squinted eyes.
But inside, his heart was churning.
What an idiot!
Why didn't he make a bet with Ruanruan just now?
If he'd been a bit more confident and bet with her, he would probably have won by now.
But… he missed the chance.
Jiang Xu was full of regret.
His frustration hit the absolute peak when he saw on screen that Female No. 1 from the library date, who barely spoke on the way back, went straight over to interact with Chen Kaiwei after returning to the house — she even asked him for tips on making steamed egg📹!
Why was he so conservative?
If only time could turn back…
"Brother Jiang Xu, are you and Teacher Bao still competing to see who can make the most accurate guesses?'
Xiao Qi's simple, innocent voice suddenly rang out from inside the observation room.
Jiang Xu's regretful heart was instantly healed.
"Teacher Bao, do you still think Male No. 3—the bookstore owner—will receive a text from his library date?"
Jiang Xu added on extra qualifiers7, afraid Bao Ruanruan might change her mind later.
Xiao Qi glanced at Bao Ruanruan.
Bao Ruanruan nodded and even specified, "Lin Youxun."
She had remembered Male No. 3's name.
"Mm, I think he can do it."
Ha—
Jiang Xu opened his mouth, almost bursting into laughter.
If even this guy could make it, then he figured Chen Kaiwei might rack up three votes again!
"All right, I'll have to go against Teacher Bao and see who's right."
"I still think he'll get zero texts today."
Jiang Xu didn't forget to glance at the others. "Xiao Qi, what about you and Teacher Zhou? Feifei?"
A reluctant Qu Feifei first looked at Bao Ruanruan and then at Jiang Xu. "Uh… can I abstain?"
Jiang Xu skipped over her. "Sure."
"I'll go with Sis Ruanruan then," Xiao Qi blurted out.
Jiang Xu: "!"
Silly-sweet girl8 No. 2.
Zhou Minwen paused to think, then said, "Then I… will be the referee."
Jiang Xu: "……"
[Hahahahaha!]
[Brother Minwen originally wanted to side with Bao Ruanruan, but Male No. 3 was such a flop that he didn't dare bet on him, 233339.]
[I'm laughing myself to death—my Xiao Qi really is clueless. He can't even tell that Male No. 3 has already been sent off10 in the girl's heart.]
Bao Ruanruan summed it up:
"If Brother Jiang loses, he has to grant Xiao Qi and me one wish."
"If we lose, we'll grant Brother Jiang one."
Yang Xueni didn't join in and felt perfectly at ease.
Then Bao Ruanruan suddenly picked up the bottle of no-rinse hand sanitiser on the table.
She looked towards Yang Xueni.
Yang Xueni: "!"
The mid-show live ad read came around again!
"Before we work hard, let's wipe out the germs first."
"We can definitely do it!"
Yang Xueni: "............"
[Hahaha, the hand sanitiser sponsor is going to cry—if they lose, won't that mean it ruined their luck?]
[Right, the sponsor must be endlessly regretting this.]
The show quickly went on.
Coincidentally, the first reveal was the text message about the library date: Female No. 1, Xue Wen.
Jiang Xu felt that the winning ticket was already in his hand11.
After returning home from the date, the contestants started texting each other immediately.
The bad impression would obviously linger, leaving Male No. 3 with no chance of redeeming himself.
He smiled and looked at Bao Ruanruan.
But Qu Feifei's startled cry came from the room.
Jiang Xu immediately snapped his head around.
Female No. 1: Xue Wen.
She had sent her message.
Her message: "Thank you for giving me such a pleasant day."
Jiang Xu: "!"
The message made his heart give a sudden thump!
Soon, the camera cut to the men's quarters: Lin Youxun, Male No. 3, whose phone had never received a text before, suddenly felt it buzz.
Jiang Xu: "!"
[!!!]
[How could this be!]
[Ah—did she text the person she dated just out of politeness?]
[Help… so Bao Ruanruan guessed right?]
[Ah, girl, what are you thinking? I can't figure you out!]
"A smart choice."
Seeing this, Bao Ruanruan also let out a sigh of relief.
Her eyes sparkled.
It wasn't because she had won a round.
Rather—
"Congrats, she has spent a whole day reading and finally realised the charm of the bookstore owner."
Ah, from that moment on, there will be an endless stream of health books for that lady, which she can never finish reading.
[!!]
[Pff, that's totally not it. Dear Ruan, if you date someone with this kind of thinking, your mom is going to worry about you!]
[Good grief, Bao Ruanruan, you're such a straight girl.]
Never mind whether she's 'straight' or not—anyway, she won.
Jiang Xu almost wanted to call Female No. 1 right away to ask what on earth she was thinking!
"To be with someone who lets you relax and also helps you grow—that's what matters most,"
Bao Ruanruan even tried to elaborate.
Yeah, right!
Everyone present shot her a sideways glare.
Except for the beaming Xiao Qi, who was missing a tendon12. "Sis Ruanruan is really awesome."
He'd chosen the right side.
"…..."
Jiang Xu's head ached.
Throb after throb.
It buzzed like a hive.
By now, his thoughts were a blur.
"Thanks for letting me win, Brother Jiang Xu."
"…………"
However, Jiang Xu still wanted to defend himself, thinking, this text message contains some water content13.
However, when he looked at the programme preview, he discovered that Female No. 1 had gone out for a walk with that library boy!
Jiang Xu: "!"
[!!]
Bao Ruanruan nodded repeatedly, looking quite pleased. "It looks like she does like him. At lunch, she even wanted to sit across from him. In the afternoon, they had a date in the library, which reduced their 'safe distance', and tonight she wants to make him steamed egg."
Jiang Xu: "!!"
What?
[!]
[What!]
[D@mn, they even had lunch together? Is there extra info off-camera?]
[Huh? The steamed egg is for him?!]
"What did you say, Teacher Bao?"
"What about her at noon?"
Bao Ruanruan immediately repeated it. "At 12 minutes 34 seconds in the video, when the six of them were eating lunch, she was already standing by the table, but she never sat down. She kept sneaking glances at the two men in the kitchen. She waited until Lin Youxun came over and sat down before sitting opposite him."
Jiang Xu: "......!"
[You even have the timestamp? Kiddo Ruan, you watched this show way too carefully!]
[Now that you mention it, I remember that scene too.]
Xiao Qi suddenly slapped the table. "Oh! Xue Wen was already planning to seriously interact with Mr Lin, Male No. 3, back then!"
"Mm, and at 13 minutes 35 seconds into the video, the shooting guy said he liked spicy food, but this girl didn't eat a single spicy dish. In the first episode, at 34 minutes 9 seconds, Chen Kaiwei said he liked eating meat, and this girl said she preferred vegetarian food."
"But this Lin Youxun's eating habits are very similar to hers."
[!]
[What kind of memory is that? She even remembers things from the very first episode?]
[So the evening salad dinner turned out to be a bonus point!]
[! So, even before the date had happened, Bao Ruanruan had guessed what the outcome of the text message would be!]
[Oh my! So that's why she asked Chen Kaiwei, who loves meat, how to make steamed egg? Steamed egg is light in flavour and uses little oil; that's exactly the library guy's taste!]
Bao Ruanruan blinked. "It's fine to lose; it's just a game anyway."
Jiang Xu: "……"
[………………]
[Awesome, Bao Ruanruan!]
[From now on, I won't support even a wall14; I only submit myself to Bao Ruanruan!]
[Bao Ruanruan… such terrifying powers of observation!]
[Whoa! Directors, look over here—Kiddo Ruan just said it: whatever job she does, she excels at it. She's just as amazing as a romance observer!]
[Right, true.]
[Hand sanitiser wins!]
After this battle, Bao Ruanruan's authority in the entire guest room was completely established!
Jiang Xu no longer dared to casually set traps for her and was even a little afraid of her bright, watery eyes whenever they turned his way.
And the others all enjoyed asking Bao Ruanruan for her opinion.
"Xiao Bao, what do you think of Male No. 2?"
"How come the shooting guy couldn't get a text message?"
"Do you think he can flip the game board15 in the next episode?"
Zhou Minwen and Xiao Qi had completely taken over Jiang Xu's job.
As a host, Jiang Xu had become a mere figurehead, standing there dejectedly while clutching his chest in silence.
Qu Feifei also followed the wind16, eagerly waiting for Bao Ruanruan's answer, clearly wanting to know as well.
Even Yang Xueni gave Bao Ruanruan an extra glance.
However, Bao Ruanruan remained modest and no longer tried to snatch the wind's tip17.
"Brother Minwen, what do you think? Mm, I feel the same as Brother Minwen—we can wait and see."
"Xiao Qi's right, we can't draw a conclusion yet."
She openly started paddling in the water18!
Jiang Xu: "……"
So why was he the one who felt hurt?
Why did she change after he got hurt!
In the livestream room, Bao Ruanruan let the spotlight move elsewhere and started a low-key recording.
Even if she acted high-profile again, it wouldn't result in another life-saving agreement.
No one there wanted to gamble with her anymore.
She had figured that all out.
Since that was the case, keeping a low profile was the true way of the king19.
Concealing her achievements and fame had become her protective colouring20.
After a barrage of 'hahaha' comments, the live chat calmed down.
Quite a few class representatives21 and mom-type viewers showed up at that moment.
[I've learnt something!]
[I feel like I could show this clip to my kid. If you don't understand something, don't pretend that you do. If you do, speak up confidently!]
[Bao Ruanruan is talented, and her character's pretty decent, too.]
[And she even has the habit of taking notes—'a good memory is no match for a lousy pen22', My son still refuses to pick up a pen and write.]
Bao Ruanruan never expected it—she only wanted to keep a low profile, yet ended up receiving extra praise from the audience.
As the show neared its end, Bao Ruanruan didn't give any further comments about anyone.
It seemed she'd realised the online opinion of Chen Kaiwei had shifted, and that her earlier 'beast' remark had been a mistake.
Yet she remained silent, as if selectively forgetting what she had said before.
This left Yang Xueni, who had held back throughout the whole show and even had to do two hand-washing live ad reads in the middle, feeling as if her heart and liver had been scratched23.
When Yang Xueni saw Chen Kaiwei appear in the cabin, she couldn't help but think of the negative comments online that labelled him a beast and a scumbag.
All this pain had come from Bao Ruanruan's remarks on the show.
It was just like the hurt she had caused her best friend, Yuxin, felt after Bao Ruanruan made a scene at the engagement ceremony.
Bao Ruanruan now acted as if nothing had ever happened, but the harm had already been done.
Bao Ruanruan was in the wrong—shouldn't she apologise?
With only five minutes left of the live broadcast, and the reveal of Female No. 2 Li Xuan's text message would be a foregone conclusion, Yang Xueni finally took a deep breath and held back no longer.
But just as she was about to speak, having glanced at Bao Ruanruan's innocent face, she heard Qu Feifei let out a surprised exclamation from inside the room.
"How come Female No. 2 sent the message to the bookstore owner, too?"
Yang Xueni: "?"
Turning her head, she saw Jiang Xu wearing the exact same stunned expression.
Then, amid the hustle of the live broadcast, Director Zhong Zeyuan suddenly stepped forward and spoke with a serious expression.
"Sorry to interrupt the livestream, but I have to make an announcement."
The entire guest lounge fell instantly silent.
[?]
[What, what? Has something happened?]
"I need to provide a special clarification regarding a text message Li Xuan had received."
"We only found out fifteen minutes ago that on the night Li Xuan returned from the amusement park, she received a text message, apparently from Chen Kaiwei's girlfriend, telling her that he wasn't actually single."
[ ! ]
Footnotes Full List
- 退居二线 (tuìjūèrxiàn): an idiom meaning to withdraw from the spotlight or take a backseat.
- 出卖了自己 (chūmài le zìjǐ): slang/idiom for betraying someone or revealing their secrets.
- 拉他下水 (lā tā xiàshuǐ): A metaphor meaning 'to implicate someone' or 'to pull someone into trouble or a scheme'.
- 姨母笑 (yímǔ xiào): Internet slang describing a warm, doting grin—like an indulgent aunt watching a cute couple.
- MMP – A censored internet acronym for 妈卖批 (mā mài pī), literally 'your mother sells [her body]', used as a mild curse or inner grumble similar to 'd@mn it' or 'for ****'s sake.'
- 心有所属 (xīn yǒu suǒshǔ): An idiom that means someone is already emotionally attached to another person.
- The phrase 加了特别多的定语 (jiā le tèbié duō de dìngyǔ) is used figuratively to mean he spoke very carefully and descriptively to pin down details so she couldn't back out.
- 傻白甜 (shǎ bái tián) is an internet slang term used to describe a naïve, innocent and cheerful young woman. It literally translates as 'silly, pale and sweet'. Here, it is used to describe the second such character.
- 23333 is Chinese internet slang for hearty laughter, like 'LOL' (it comes from an old emoji code).
- The phrase 在女孩心里送走了 (zài nǚhái xīnlǐ sòngzǒu le) is a metaphor for being rejected.
- The phrase 胜券在握 (shèng quàn zài wò) is a metaphor meaning 'certain of victory' or 'sure of success'.
- Figuratively, this colloquial phrase, 缺根筋 (quē gēn jīn), describes someone who is a bit slow-witted, oblivious, or lacking a normal sense of caution or sensitivity—as if a crucial "nerve" for quick reaction or understanding were absent.
- Colloquially, the phrase 这条短信有含水量 (zhè tiáo duǎnxìn yǒu hánshuǐliàng) means 'this message isn't solid / it's questionable / there's some fluff or exaggeration'. It implies the information might not be entirely reliable.
- 以后我墙都不扶 (yǐhòu wǒ qiáng dōu bù fú): Literally "From now on, I won't even support/lean on the wall." This is a hyperbolic internet slang phrase. It means the speaker is so deeply impressed or shocked by the person in the second clause that they refuse to give their support or admiration to anything else, not even something as basic and solid as a wall. It signifies extreme admiration.
- 翻盘 (fān pán): a gambling term. Figuratively, it means 'make a comeback' or 'turn the tables'.
- 跟风 (gēn fēng): a slang for 'to follow a trend' or 'jump on the bandwagon'.
- 抢风头 (qiǎng fēng tóu): an idiom meaning 'hog the limelight' or 'steal the show'.
- 划水 (huá shuǐ): an internet slang for 'loafing' or 'slacking off'.
- 王道 (wáng dào): idiomatically 'the best strategy' or 'the most proper path'.
- 保护色 (bǎo hù sè): a metaphor for 'a cover or disguise for self-protection'.
- 课代表 (kè dàibiǎo): an internet slang for someone who summarises or explains content for others, like a helpful note-taker.
- 好记性不如烂笔头 (hǎo jìxìng bùrú làn bǐtóu) is an idiom meaning it's better to jot things down than to rely on memory, even with a poor pen.
- 抓心挠肺 (zhuā xīn náo fèi) literally "scratching heart and liver," an idiom for being so anxious or agitated that it feels unbearable.
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