Ye Shi stroked her belly as she looked at Yuxi, her eyes filled with pleading. "Yuxi, please help me persuade your Dage to let me kee...
Ye Shi stroked her belly as she looked at Yuxi, her eyes filled with pleading. "Yuxi, please help me persuade your Dage to let me keep this child! I'm begging you."
Yuxi shook her head. "Dasao, I'm powerless to do anything." She wasn't refusing to help; there was literally nothing she could do. Besides, she had helped Ye Shi save Qiqi, yet Ye Shi hadn't remembered even the slightest bit of that kindness. That had made Yuxi wary. If she interfered and things turned out well, Ye Shi would not remember her kindness; if things turned out badly, Ye Shi would certainly resent her. Something so strenuous yet thankless was worth doing once, but certainly not a second time.
Hearing this, Ye Shi dropped to her knees. "Yuxi, I'm begging you. Please help me! I truly cannot lose this child." Her husband had made his heart iron1 about aborting the child, and now Yuxi was the only person who could stop him.
Yuxi did not go over to help Ye Shi up. She simply stood where she was, not moving. Qiu Shi's earlier worries had not been unfounded: Yuxi's heart and intestines were indeed growing harder and harder2, and she was becoming increasingly forceful in the way she handled matters. Ye Shi was kneeling before her now, yet not the slightest ripple stirred in her heart3. In the past, she certainly would have been alarmed, especially since Ye Shi was her Dasao.
Yuxi said, "Dasao, if Dage had wanted this child and asked me to help cover things up, I certainly would. But now it is Dage himself who does not want the child, so there is nothing I can do. You know his temperament. Once he has made a decision, he will not change it." If her Dage, the child's own father, did not want the child, what could she possibly do? She could hardly go head-to-head against him for the sake of an unborn child. Taking a step back and looking at it another way, even if Dage compromised, it would be him, not her, who would have to bear the consequences. If something went wrong in the future, he would certainly blame her.
Ye Shi's heart went cold by a section4, but she still refused to give up. "Yuxi, you are a mother too. Making me give up this child is the same as taking my life. Yuxi, I'm begging you. Please help me!" She truly had no other way out; otherwise, she would never have taken this step.
Yuxi sighed. "Dasao, Dage doesn't want this child, not only for his own sake, but for the child's too. What if the child is a boy, and the truth comes out after he grows up? Have you thought about the consequences? He would be unable to enter officialdom or inherit the family estate, and he would have to endure white-eye5 and contempt from everyone. When that happens, can you be certain that he won't resent you and Dage?" Only after raising a child did one understand how difficult raising children truly was6. If a child was not taught properly, they could easily grow crooked7. Take Zaozao, for example. If Yuxi had not constantly kept an eye on her, the girl might already have started to think of herself as a boy. So no one could say for certain what kind of person this child would become in the future.
Ye Shi shook her head. "No. As long as we are careful enough, no one will ever find out."
Yuxi shook her head. "If the difference were two or three months, or even a year, you might still be able to deceive and muddle your way past8, but you are talking about a difference of three years." There were still two years left of the mourning period, and adding another ten months for the pregnancy would make it roughly three years in total. In other words, they would have to publicly claim that the child was three years younger than he actually was. Never mind a three-year difference; unless the child was a sickly premature infant who could scarcely get out of bed, even a one-year difference would be obvious to anyone with a keen eye.
At that thought, a contemplative look flashed through Yuxi's eyes as she studied Ye Shi. Perhaps it was not that Ye Shi was unaware of all this. Rather, she believed that with Yuxi around, even if the truth were eventually discovered, Yuxi would have to step in and suppress the matter for the sake of the Han family's reputation.
Yuxi's gaze seemed capable of seeing straight through a person's heart9. Under Yuxi's gaze, Ye Shi began to feel uneasy. In fact, Yuxi was right; that was precisely what Ye Shi had been thinking. Rules of propriety could never outweigh power. As long as Yuxi was willing to support them from behind, no one would dare pursue the matter.
Just then, Meiyun called from outside, "Wangfei, Master Han has arrived." She had no idea what sort of dispute had arisen between the couple, causing them to bring their quarrel to Wangfei's attention.
The moment Han Jianming entered the room, he saw Ye Shi kneeling on the floor. Fortunately, the underfloor heating was lit, so she wouldn't catch a chill from kneeling there.
Seeing this, Han Jianming said coldly, "What are you doing? Get up at once." Ye Shi had always been sensible before, but this time, for some reason, she seemed as though she had been possessed10.
Ye Shi knew that begging any further was useless. The two people before her both had hearts and intestines of iron and stone11. She rose to her feet and told Han Jianming, "I'm keeping this child no matter what. If you do not want the child, then we can divorce. That way, you will not have to bear a bad reputation either."
Han Jianming's expression changed drastically upon hearing this. "Do you even know what you are saying?" Even he thought Ye Shi had become possessed.
Gritting her teeth, Ye Shi asserted, "No matter what happens, I will protect this child. None of you are allowed to hurt my child."
Han Jianming was beside himself with anger. "What good would divorcing me do? Would the child stop being mine just because we divorced? Would that change the fact that the child was conceived during the mourning period?" If he had known that Ye Shi was capable of becoming pregnant, he would have restrained himself and never touched her. Unfortunately, there was no medicine for regret in this world.
Ye Shi was truly putting everything on the line now. "If you try to abort my child, I will die for you to see." She had now more or less resorted to the entire 'first cry, then make a scene, then threaten to hang oneself' routine12.
Han Jianming was so furious that his face turned the colour of pig liver13. Even a vicious tiger would not eat its own cubs14. If he had any other choice, would he willingly kill his own child?
Yuxi made herself part of the backdrop15 and did not say a single word. At once, the room became so quiet that even a needle falling to the floor could be heard.
In a hoarse voice, Han Jianming declared, "Ye Qing, I will not allow this child to remain." As he spoke, it seemed every ounce of strength had drained from his body. He could not bear the future consequences of allowing this child to live.
Yuxi was not surprised to hear this. Han Jianming had been raised by the Old Lady Han from childhood. She had instilled in him the belief that reviving the family fortunes was paramount, and that all decisions should be made for the greater good of the clan. Even when he had brought his wife and children to the northwest to seek refuge with Yuxi, it was because he believed that she and Yun Qing had a great future ahead of them, and he wanted to earn the merit of following the dragon16. How could a man like Han Jianming possibly take such a risk for one child?
Ye Shi's eyes were nothing but dead ashes17. Not even forcing him with the threat of her own death could make Han Jianming change his mind. Stroking her belly, Ye Shi murmured to herself, "Child, your Mom is useless. I cannot protect you. But do not worry. If your Dad is truly this heartless, Mom will not abandon you either. On the road to the Yellow Springs18, Mom will be there with you, so you won't be alone."
Yuxi sighed and called Meiyun inside. "Help Ye Shi to the side chamber so she can rest."
Hearing this, Ye Shi looked at Yuxi, and a glimmer of hope appeared in her eyes. However, she knew Yuxi's temperament. If she stayed, she might end up making things worse. So she obediently followed Meiyun out.
Han Jianming said, "Yuxi, Mom and Ye Shi may not understand, but I'm sure you do. It's not that I don't want this child. The fact is, this child truly cannot be allowed to remain." The prospect of having to kill his own child caused him great pain. However, if the child survived and their identity was exposed, he would be accused of immorality and ingratitude. Restoring the Han family's fortunes would then remain nothing more than a dream.
Yuxi said, "Dage, Ye Shi truly intends to die. She is not merely trying to frighten you." Otherwise, Yuxi would not have intervened.
Han Jianming gave a bitter smile. "Even so, this child cannot stay." Men, after all, were often more ruthless than women. For the sake of his family, prospects, and also to prevent the child from resenting him one day, Han Jianming wanted to strangle every future trouble in the bud19.
Although reason told Yuxi not to involve herself in this matter, she had not yet developed a heart and intestines of iron and stone11. Yuxi pointed out, "Even if you do not consider the fact that Ye Shi has been your wife for more than ten years, you should at least consider Mom's feelings. If both Ye Shi and the child are gone, how could Mom withstand such a blow?"
Han Jianming looked anguished. "Then what else can I do? Claiming publicly that the child is three years younger than he really is? Ye Shi is being far too naïve. Once the child returns home, it will not be long before someone notices." There was simply no way to keep something like this hidden.
Yuxi suggested calmly, "Then don't let the child return to the Han family." What Yuxi meant was that the child could be born, but could never return to the Han family for the rest of his life, nor could he bear the surname Han.
Han Jianming quickly understood what Yuxi meant, and his heart stirred20. But he soon shook his head. "Once Ye Shi gives birth to this child, she certainly will not simply leave him alone. Given enough time, the truth will inevitably come out."
Yuxi frowned as well. If the child were a girl, it would not be much of a problem. Yuxi could simply say that she had taken an immediate liking to the girl and adopt her as a goddaughter. She could then look after the girl from time to time and, when she grew up and got married, Yuxi could provide her with a dowry. However, if the child were a boy, it would lead to endless future trouble, because a son would be involved in inheriting the family estate. Given Ye Shi's personality, she would never watch with her eyes wide open21 as Lil Boy Chang inherited the family estate whilst her own son received nothing. She would certainly find every possible means to secure part of the Han family estate for her son. When that happened, the Han household would know no peace, and Yuxi didn't want to see that. "I am only offering a suggestion. What you choose to do is up to you, Dage." This was all she could do. Beyond this, she was powerless to do anything. After all, she was not the one who could decide whether the child lived or died.
Han Jianming looked deeply ashamed. "I failed to handle my own household affairs properly, and now you have to worry about them as well. This is my fault."
Yuxi shook her head. "No one could have foreseen this. How could you be blamed?" If anyone was to blame, it could only be Heaven for loving to toy with people.
Han Jianming reflected, "If I hadn't given her the miraculous medicine you gave me, none of this would have happened." He knew the medicine Yuxi had given him was extremely precious, but he never expected it to be so effective.
After some thought, Han Jianming asked, "Yuxi, you take this miraculous medicine regularly. Why has your health still not fully recovered?" Ye Shi had only taken a little and had already improved tremendously. There was no reason Yuxi shouldn't have recovered completely by now.
Yuxi explained, "I had mostly recovered by the middle of last year. Momo Quan said that my foundation was still somewhat weak and that I needed more time to recuperate. Only after I have fully recovered can I hope to have children who are as strong and healthy as Zaozao." After all, a mother's greatest hope was for her children to grow up safe and sound.
Upon hearing this, Han Jianming immediately asked, "In that case, does that mean the children Ye Shi has in the future won't be particularly healthy?"
Yuxi shook her head. "Not necessarily. As long as she takes proper care of herself during pregnancy, there shouldn't be any problem. Still, that child certainly won't have a constitution as strong as Zaozao's." So far, they still hadn't found another child healthier than Zaozao.
Han Jianming remarked, "I plan to send her to a country estate once the first lunar month is over." Naturally, it would be an estate in a relatively remote and inconspicuous location.
Yuxi smiled faintly. "Dage, you can make the decision on this yourself." She had absolutely no intention of getting involved in anything that followed. Unfortunately, that was merely wishful thinking on Yuxi's part.
Footnotes Full List
- 铁了心 (tiě le xīn) — literally: made the heart iron; meaning: become firmly determined and refuse to change one's mind
- 心肠越来越硬 (xīncháng yuè lái yuè yìng) — literally: the heart and intestines are becoming harder; meaning: becoming increasingly hard-hearted or unsympathetic
- 心中不起半点的波澜 (xīn zhōng bù qǐ bàn diǎn de bōlán) — literally: not even half a ripple rises in the heart; meaning: to remain completely emotionally unmoved
- 心都凉了一截了 (xīn dōu liáng le yì jié le) — literally: the heart turned cold by a section; meaning: to become deeply disappointed or lose hope
- 白眼 (bái yǎn) — literally: the whites of the eyes; meaning: disdainful or contemptuous looks
- 养儿方知育儿难 (yǎng ér fāng zhī yù ér nán) — literally: only by raising a child does one know the difficulty of raising children; meaning: one only understands the hardships of parenthood after becoming a parent
- 长歪 (zhǎng wāi) — literally: grow crooked; meaning: develop bad habits, values, or character
- 蒙混过去 (méng hùn guò qù) — literally: deceive and muddle one's way past; meaning: conceal the truth and get away with it
- 人心看透 (rén xīn kàn tòu) — literally: see completely through a person's heart; meaning: perceive someone's true thoughts, motives, or intentions
- 魔怔了似的 (mózheng le shìde) — literally: as though struck or possessed by a demon; meaning: acting irrationally, obsessively, or as though one has lost normal judgement
- 铁石心肠 (tiě shí xīn cháng) — literally: a heart and intestines of iron and stone; meaning: extremely hard-hearted and unmoved by emotion
- 一哭二闹三上吊 (yī kū èr nào sān shàng diào) — literally: first cry, second make a scene, third hang oneself; meaning: use increasingly dramatic emotional tactics, especially crying, quarrelling, and threatening suicide, to force another person to yield
- 猪肝色 (zhū gān sè) — literally: pig-liver colour; meaning: a dark purplish-red complexion caused by extreme anger or embarrassment
- 虎毒尚且不食子 (hǔ dú shàngqiě bù shí zǐ) — literally: even a poisonous or vicious tiger does not eat its offspring; meaning: even the cruellest creature normally will not harm its own children
- 当布景 (dāng bùjǐng) — literally: act as scenery or a stage backdrop; meaning: deliberately remain in the background without participating
- 从龙之功 (cóng lóng zhī gōng) — literally: the merit of following the dragon; meaning: the political merit gained by supporting a ruler before or during his rise to supreme power
- 一片死灰 (yí piàn sǐ huī) — literally: a stretch of dead ashes; meaning: utterly devoid of hope or vitality
- 黄泉路上 (Huángquán lù shàng) — literally: on the road to the Yellow Springs; meaning: on the journey to the underworld or death
- 扼杀在萌芽之中 (èshā zài méngyá zhī zhōng) — literally: strangle something while it is still a sprout; meaning: eliminate a problem completely before it has a chance to develop
- 心动 (xīn dòng) — literally: the heart moves; meaning: to feel tempted, attracted, or persuaded by an idea
- 眼睁睁地 (yǎn zhēngzhēng de) — literally: with one's eyes opened wide; meaning: helplessly watch something happen before one's eyes
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