A perfectly proper and respectable Sister Becomes an Assistant program had turned into Sister Becomes a Collection of Mistakes . Yang...
A perfectly proper and respectable Sister Becomes an Assistant program had turned into Sister Becomes a Collection of Mistakes.
Yang Xueni had enjoyed a short but glorious half-hour nap, and she was still finding ways to be useful, even in her sleep.
She had never dreamed that she could be this useful.
"Thanks for helping me, Nini. I've memorised ninety per cent of the acupoints today."
Yang Xueni did not dare move.
Her entire honour and disgrace rested on those red correction labels marking the ten per cent that Bao Ruanruan had got wrong. She was terrified that if even one fell off, Bao Ruanruan would have to start over.
She would not have been able to endure something like this while awake.
The director in charge of the Assistant segment was especially considerate, too.
He brought Yang Xueni a small mirror so that she could take a look at herself.
The moment Yang Xueni looked into the mirror, everything went black before her eyes.
Right now, she looked like a paper-wrapped mummy: completely helpless and unable to help herself, no matter how much she struggled.
Not only her chest, hands, and feet, but even her face and the top of her head had failed to escape the calamity unscathed.
Only her eyes remained exposed.
Yang Xueni: "......"
At a time like this, she truly had to admire what a good sleeper she was.
And she still hadn't woken up through all that?!
[ Hahahahaha! ]
[ Red - questions to correct; yellow - questions certain to appear on the exam; white - knowledge points within the exam syllabus. ]
[ Nini: "The Years I Spent as a Collection of Mistakes." ]
[ I'm downloading this part for my little girl to watch too. Xiao Bao's way of studying is seriously good. ]
[ Reading the script and preparing for the role—is anyone more serious about it than Xiao Bao? ]
[ Tsk! I'm putting this prediction right here: Xiao Bao will definitely win an acting award within three years! As a Snowman who stans Sis Xueni, I've researched many actresses. There aren't many female celebrities who are as beautiful, hardworking, lively and interesting as she is!
Every actress who fits that description has won awards and become a household name. ]
[ Awoo! This Ruan-mom fan thanks this Snowman fan in advance. If your prediction comes true, I'll start a giveaway thread on Weibo, so make sure you come along! ]
[ Of course I'll come! My Weibo username is—Summer Who Loves Watching Snow. Don't get it wrong! ]
They had even started socialising and making friends with one another.
But that wasn't important.
The most important thing was that Yang Xueni just wanted to cry.
This was because she wasn't stupid.
It had suddenly occurred to her:
How could a person possibly have acupoints only on the front of their body?
Was she going to have to turn over and go through all of this again?
"Nini—"
"W-wait." Yang Xueni freaked out. She stared at Bao Ruanruan with an expression of absolute admiration, practically admitting defeat on the spot. "Teacher Bao, it's almost time for your beauty sleep."
Sure enough, Bao Ruanruan's purposeful steps came to a halt, and she glanced at the wall clock in the hotel room.
Mm. It's already eight o'clock.
"Once we've corrected these few mistakes, you can rest for a while, Teacher Bao. Then it should be time for the next step: trying out the product you're considering endorsing."
For Yang Xueni to climb to her current position in the film industry, she had poured in an enormous amount of blood, sweat, and effort.
She had practically risked her life working on film sets.
But now, standing in front of Bao Ruanruan, she realised that she was just a little sister1.
Seriously, she had been far too lazy in the past!
I'm sorry!
Fortunately, Bao Ruanruan also felt that it was getting close to bedtime.
"Mm, you're right. It's not good to overwork your brain during the half hour before bed, so let's finish all our work before nine."
Ever since the previous incident when she couldn't sleep, she had been very careful.
She tried not to get too excited before bedtime.
"Otherwise, nervous tension can easily affect the quality of your sleep."
Yang Xueni immediately breathed a sigh of relief.
[ The poor child is terrified. ]
[ Ah, seriously... Then what should I do? As a mother, have I been pushing my child too hard? Should I have my child take a bath half an hour before bedtime? ]
[ To the commenter above, I suggest watching Kiddo Ruan's bedtime guide today. ]
After Bao Ruanruan had finished correcting the mistakes, she gathered up the labels one by one.
Afterwards, she removed her make-up and took a shower.
Then she slowly dried her hair while playing some soft music in the room.
Once she had done that, she put all her scripts away and stopped reading them.
By the time she had finished showering, it was not even half past eight yet.
Bao Ruanruan sat down leisurely on the sofa and began sipping warm water, one small mouthful at a time.
Once she had finished, she stretched out her limbs.
And listened to Yang Xueni reading... poem prose.
[ 23332, amazing! ]
[ After serving as a 'collection of mistakes', Nini has now become a radio announcer. ]
As Yang Xueni recited these verses, the corners of Bao Ruanruan's lips curved gently upwards.
Her fair little face instantly relaxed.
A feeling of happiness welled up naturally from within her, becoming visibly apparent in her expression.
It was as though, during this stretch of the night, even her soul had finally obtained true freedom and rest.
Since Yang Xueni was an actress, she delivered her lines excellently.
She recited it with both emotion and vivid expression, making it seem as though a picture had appeared before everyone's eyes.
The towering tree touches the sky, as the Buddha gazes upon all with compassion.
Five hundred years...!!
Bao Ruanruan's sense of happiness reached its peak.
She felt so blissfully comfortable that even her tailbone seemed to wiggle in satisfaction.
[ 55553, this scene is so wonderful. ]
[ I love the feeling of listening to Nini recite it—until heaven and earth grow old4... ]
[ Ruanruan's expression is amazing. Oh my god, she and Nini look so good together! I can't resist writing fanfiction about them—someone stop me! ]
[ Actually, I have a friend who'd also like to read some fanfiction about them... whimper! ]
Seeing Bao Ruanruan as such an enthusiastic audience member, seemingly on the verge of melting into Yang Xueni's voice, made Yang Xueni feel that she had found a kindred spirit who truly understood and appreciated her. She suddenly felt that she could happily read on until Bao Ruanruan fell asleep.
However, as soon as Yang Xueni switched to another poem, Bao Ruanruan raised her hand. "Nini, I do like this poem, but could you please read the previous one again?"
She reached out and lightly tapped the air in the direction of Yang Xueni's right shoulder.
"Single-track repeat."
Yang Xueni: "......!"
[ Hahahahaha! ]
[ Music player — Nini. ]
[ Single-track repeat... 23332. ]
As the recitation continued, not only did both of them become relaxed and soothed, but even the staff in the room felt a rare sense of comfort after a tiring day's work.
But ten minutes later, the trial package for Bao Ruanruan's prospective new endorsement product arrived.
Yang Xueni took it, opened the delivery box, and froze for a moment.
It was actually disposable heat patches.
At the moment, however, the heat-patch packaging had been specially prepared, with the product name removed.
Yang Xueni took out three patches, but she couldn't find a brand name on any of them.
She was slightly surprised.
She had assumed that the company would use this opportunity to promote itself during the livestream.
[ It looks like Bao Ruanruan's studio really is very rigorous. ]
[ Yeah. They won't reveal even the slightest bit of information before the official announcement. ]
[ This feels good. Nobody is pressing my head down and giving me an Amway-style recommendation5. This is comfortable~ ]
[ Right. As a Snowman, I'm having a good experience. After all, I didn't come here to watch Xiao Bao advertise endorsements. ]
The Snowmen all gave their approval.
However, they soon discovered that Bao Ruanruan's career-focused fans in the comments had a completely different vibe from them.
The Ruan fans laughed themselves into convulsions.
[ It looks like the destructive power of our Kiddo Ruan testing prospective endorsement products has made the sponsor daddies6 afraid, 233332. ]
[ Exactly! That's what I thought too, hhhh7. The sponsor must be scared! They don't even dare put the brand name on it before letting her test it... ]
[ The last one, the Zhi Zhi milk tea that she said she wanted to take a look at, has already been sent packing. As for the next one... all the money-bag daddies8 must be trembling, hahaha. ]
[ Livestream + product testing = a life-or-death judgement for the sponsor daddies. ]
[ This sponsor daddy is also one of the truly clear-headed people in this world. ]
The Snowman fans were completely dumbfounded.
Yang Xueni was curious too. "Did the heat-patch company come knocking at your door because of that snow-mountain rescue role of yours?"
The movie hadn't even been released yet.
"No." Bao Ruanruan took a heat patch and opened its outer packaging. "It's because of the currently airing drama Kun Ning. My character is banished to the Cold Palace, and I have to stay there until the final episode."
"The heat-patch manufacturer thinks I'll be cold in the Cold Palace."
Yang Xueni: "......"
What a combination: an artist with brain circuitry that is strangely extraordinary9, matched with a manufacturer whose thinking was equally bizarre.
They are such a how pay10.
[ There's a kind of cold called 'your sponsor daddy thinks you're cold🖼️'. ]
[ The demon consort is also supposed to be physically frail, so she'd probably be even more afraid of the cold in winter, hhh7. That makes sense—she really does need them! ]
[ Then I have to buy them. Kiddo Ruan, if you definitely take the endorsement, this winter I'll get to use the same heat patches as a former Imperial Consort! ]
However, Bao Ruanruan was moving leisurely, doing everything at half her normal speed before bed.
Yang Xueni bustled off energetically to throw the empty box into the trash. When she returned, she saw Bao Ruanruan looking at her with a slightly surprised expression.
"Nini, you threw away the instructions?"
Yang Xueni: "?"
What instructions could a heat patch possibly need?
Even the Qing dynasty has already fallen!11
"Peel off the backing and stick it wherever you need it."
Yang Xueni pointed at the heat patch in Bao Ruanruan's hand.
She almost wished she could do it for her.
In that moment, she deeply understood the helplessness and occasional nervousness her young assistant, Xia Xia, and her manager, Jiang Zhengle, usually felt around her.
It's really easy for celebrities to mess up during a livestream.
You see, all it takes is one careless moment for the audience to realise that you're inexperienced or acting foolishly.
Yang Xueni felt herself adopting the anxious mentality of an older aunt.
Looking at Bao Ruanruan, she was getting anxious on her behalf too.
She wrung her brain dry12, but still couldn't think of any way to smooth the situation over.
However, Bao Ruanruan didn't think Yang Xueni was stupid at all. "Every manufacturer makes its heat patches differently, so there can be differences in product details. I've never used this brand."
Yang Xueni: "......"
"Is that so?"
[ Big Daring13 Nini, how could a lowly little assistant like you question the boss? ]
[ Nini, you still haven't remembered your place! ]
[ This is the perfect portrait of a corporate livestock14 worker. Just because your boss asks you to do something doesn't mean it's right. You might disagree, but you still have to do it. Nini has clearly never been corporate livestock before. She lacks experience. ]
[ For the sake of the money, I never argue with my boss. Whatever he says goes, as long as he doesn't make me work overtime. ]
[ +1 ]
The scrolling comments were filled with corporate workers' bitter, heart-sore reflections and little workplace survival tips.
Unfortunately, Yang Xueni couldn't see them.
However, Bao Ruanruan looked as though Yang Xueni had thrown away an essential survival resource, so Yang Xueni went and retrieved the box.
She was rewarded with two dollops of no-rinse alcohol gel, which Bao Ruanruan squeezed into her hand.
Bao Ruanruan took out the instruction sheet and began sanitising her hands.
She also sprayed disinfecting alcohol onto the somewhat thick instruction sheet before reading it.
Actually, it would have been more accurate to call it a product-information sheet.
"Shelf life: three years."
Bao Ruanruan read it aloud and commented.
"Not bad. It can be stored for a long time. If necessary, and if the quality is good, it could be kept in reserve as a standard emergency supply."
"Ingredients: iron powder, activated carbon..."
She nodded after reading each one.
"Mm. If the iron powder leaks out and gets into the eyes, you need to be careful."
At this point, she opened her survival notebook and wrote it down.
"!"
Yang Xueni had originally thought this would be a livestream mishap. Now, however, she realised that... sorry, she herself was the mishap.
It wasn't Bao Ruanruan who was ignorant. It was her.
The viewers in the comments were shocked too.
Especially that group of corporate workers who had just said that even when the boss was wrong, you still had to obey—they suddenly saw things somewhat differently.
[ So the boss really did have a deeper reason. ]
[ Turns out the boss was thinking on level three, while I'm still only on level one.15 ]
[ Nini: "It turns out that I was the one who didn't understand the boss's thinking." ]
The Snowmen and casual viewers all felt that their understanding had just been completely refreshed16.
Soon, another wave of comments with a completely different style came flooding in.
[ Ruanruan's classroom has arrived without giving us any time to prepare. ]
[ Good thing I came prepared. Every time I watch Kiddo Ruan, I keep pen and paper beside me. ]
[ Exactly! Ever since I became a Kiddo Ruan fan, Mama hasn't used her phone to take notes even once. Notebook at the ready—no radiation. Kiddo Ruan, could you speak a little more slowly~ ]
Suddenly, the scrolling comments became lively again, just as they had been during the spectacular moment when Yang Xueni was transformed into a giant collection of mistakes.
Even the programme's director had never imagined that a mere two-hour everyday livestream, filmed entirely inside a hotel room, could contain so many twists and changes, with one climax after another.
It kept people wanting to continue watching.
At the very least, the director herself genuinely wanted to know what would happen next.
This was because Bao Ruanruan had started talking about things she had never considered herself.
"Mm, because it contains activated carbon, after the heat patch stops working, instead of throwing it away, you can also place it around the house to absorb formaldehyde."
Yang Xueni became interested too. She stood behind Bao Ruanruan and began reading this 'instruction sheet' herself.
Everyone knew how to use a heat patch.
Yeah, right.
When Bao Ruanruan stopped reading aloud further down the page, Yang Xueni actually found the silence unnerving.
"What?"
"Is there a problem?"
"Why aren't you continuing your analysis?"
Yang Xueni wanted to hear more.
However, Bao Ruanruan saw that there was quite a lot more text further down, so she touched her throat.
She felt that reading silently and thinking it through in her head would work just as well.
"I'll pour you some water. I'll go right now!"
For the first time, Yang Xueni realised just how important her work as an assistant was.
[ Hhhhhh7. ]
[ Finally, Xiao Bao has trained our Sis Nini into shape... If she ever has no acting jobs, Nini won't have to worry about being laid off and stuck at home anymore. ]
"Are there any other important points we need to pay attention to?"
Yang Xueni placed the warm water beside Bao Ruanruan's hand.
The temperature was just right.
She could drink it immediately.
She was gradually becoming proficient at this.
"Mm." Bao Ruanruan nodded. "I need to study it in more detail."
Yang Xueni: "?"
The camera followed her and focused on the instruction sheet.
The words written on it were visible to everyone: 'Continuous heating for 12 hours... Maximum temperature 55°C'.
[ It lasts for such a long time. It actually seems pretty good? ]
[ As for the maximum temperature, to be honest, I've used so many heat patches before, but I've never paid attention to things like that. ]
[ I've always used an established brand. It gives me peace of mind. ]
[ +1 ]
[ Good fellow, I'll tell you in secret: the heat patches I bought during Double 11 stay hot for 12 hours and reach a maximum temperature of 60°C! ]
[ ! ]
[ The person above wins17! What brand is it? Tell me in private. ]
[ Search for...... ]
Before they could even post it, the livestream chat rules blocked the message.
Nowadays, even the production team's livestream has learned to play dirty. Most brand names, except those of the programme's sponsors, had long since been set as banned words.
They wouldn't let people discuss them.
Just as the livestream audience was beginning to fret, Bao Ruanruan checked her phone and...
She began rattling off:
“I've just checked. If you're exposed to a temperature of nearly 60°C for more than five minutes, it may cause a low-temperature burn.”
[ ! ]
[ That sister who said hers reaches 60°C! ]
[ No way? 5553, I just bought mine. ]
Yang Xueni became nervous too. "A low-temperature burn? Surely it's not that serious?"
She had used plenty of heat patches while filming on the snowy mountain.
As an actress, whenever she joined a production team in winter, she usually needed heat patches. She couldn't appear on camera wrapped in bulky layers.
And there was no heating during outdoor filming.
Bao Ruanruan nodded and glanced at the instruction sheet.
"Its maximum temperature is 55°C. If you place it over your clothing, the temperature that actually reaches your skin will be somewhat lower, which reduces the risk of a low-temperature burn to a certain extent."
[ ...So it's still possible? ]
"It heats continuously for twelve hours. Presumably, the temperature curve is parabolic: it gradually rises from room temperature to the maximum of 55°C, remains there for a short period, and then gradually falls."
As she spoke, she picked up the instructions again and examined them carefully.
"I'll ask the brand representative."
"What is its average temperature during the continuous heating period?"
[ Everyone, type 'RIGOROUS' into the public chat. ]
[ I'm going to park my butt right here and wait for the answer. I have a feeling I might buy Bao Ruanruan's heat patches this winter. ]
[ +1 ]
Some of the Snowmen and casual viewers who had just said that they didn't want to buy the advertised products, or have celebrities use livestreams to promote brands, switched sides.
But some were still struggling with the decision and waiting to see.
[ Could this be some new kind of marketing strategy? ]
[ Let me have another look. ]
But one thing was certain, though: a moment ago, everyone was still interested in the heat patches that reached 60°C. Now, however... well, they weren't particularly interested anymore.
Soon, Bao Ruanruan received a reply from Xue Jing.
The moment she looked at it, the corners of her lips rose unconsciously, the ends of her eyes tilted upwards, and she smiled sweetly.
Yang Xueni almost suspected that her eyes had played a trick on her.
However, when she tried to look more carefully, she found that Bao Ruanruan's expression had already returned to normal.
"Mm. It produces heat for twelve hours, with '*continuous heat' defined as above 40°C. Its average temperature is between 45°C and 47.5°C."
"That's above the threshold at which low-temperature burns can occur. Therefore, this particular heat patch must be used over clothing."
[ Good grief! Should I buy it or not? ]
Ruanruan's mom and career fans barely hesitated.
[ If Kiddo endorses it, we'll buy it. ]
[ Mm, I'll sit here and wait for news from the studio. If the endorsement negotiations fall through, then don't buy it. ]
[ You can always trust Bao Ruanruan. ]
However, the other viewers, who weren't familiar with the history behind all this, were still a little conflicted.
However, they didn't get to remain conflicted for long.
Bao Ruanruan had already opened her phone and looked at the summary Xue Jing had sent her of consumer complaints concerning the heat-patch company.
"Over the past year, there have been 183 complaints about low-temperature burns occurring at night when consumers placed the patches directly on their skin."
"The actual number of incidents may be even higher than the number reported."
Bao Ruanruan nodded and made a note in her little notebook. "We need to remind the manufacturer to print the warning not to apply it directly to the skin in a conspicuous place on the packaging."
She scrolled farther down. "Mm. There have been no reports of burns from people using it over their clothing in the past year, and over a million units were sold last year."
A trace of satisfaction appeared on her face as she spoke.
"Based on that ratio, when used correctly, its safety rate exceeds 99.99%."
[ ! ]
[ 99.99% safe?! That sounds pretty good! Once the endorsement is officially announced, I'm buying it! ]
[ I'm relieved~ ]
[ Impressive. She even checked the company's complaint figures... If Nini handled every endorsement this way, I'd open my wallet a lot faster too. ]
[ Snowmen, don't force yourselves. Just leave Bao's endorsement products to us Ruan fans. Thanks. ]
[ Exactly. Trust your own idol. Your Sis Xueni has her own endorsements, doesn't she? Don't trust our Kiddo Ruan! ]
[ ??? Ruan fans, do you people have any manners? ]
[ The Snowmen request permission to join the fair competition. Thank you. ]
The scrolling comments were exceptionally lively.
Sometimes, on the day a celebrity endorsement is officially announced, a brand will offer its biggest discounts of the year, sometimes even better than its Double 11 discounts!
However, these celebrity gift sets sometimes have limited stock.
Once the first batch sells out, later orders may enter a deposit-based pre-order stage, meaning that shipment and delivery could take an additional two to three weeks.
In the middle of winter, heat patches were in high demand.
If they didn't arrive until spring next year, they wouldn't be nearly as appealing anymore.
The Snowmen were all veteran fans of the mainland Chinese entertainment industry and knew how these things worked. They immediately decided to compete with the Ruan fans for the first batch of heat patches.
Everyone who loved opening parcels understood the joy of ordering first, receiving your delivery first, and being among the first to unbox and test it.
Not to mention the Snowmen; even their idol, Yang Xueni, was becoming increasingly tempted.
"Teacher Bao, when will this endorsement be officially announced?"
By asking this one question, she voiced exactly what every viewer wanted to know.
It couldn't be helped. As an actress, Yang Xueni absolutely did not want to risk being burned.
Even an additional risk of 0.01 per cent was more than she was willing to accept.
Burns could easily leave scars, and for an entertainer who made her living through the camera and the goodwill of her audience, the consequences would be enormous.
Right now, Yang Xueni desperately wanted to know what the brand was. She wished she could immediately snap up a hundred patches and take them with her to her next production.
But Bao Ruanruan waved her hand. "I haven't even decided whether I'm accepting the endorsement yet."
Yang Xueni: "?"
[ ? ]
[ ?? Are they still negotiating the endorsement fee? ]
Bao Ruanruan appeared on camera and told Yang Xueni to wait.
"Nini, don't be impatient. Although there don't seem to be any major safety issues, we still need to verify that the length of time it stays warm and the temperatures it maintains match the product description."🦊
Yang Xueni: "?"
[ ! ]
Footnotes Full List
- 只是个妹妹 (zhǐ shì ge mèimei) — just a younger sister; internet-style expression meaning someone is clearly inferior or no match for another person
- 2333 — internet laughter; an older Chinese internet expression representing hearty laughter, similar to '*hahaha'
- 5555 — five-five-five-five; because 五 (wǔ) resembles 呜 (wū), the sound of crying, "555" or "5555" is internet slang representing tearful sobbing
- 天荒地老 (tiān huāng dì lǎo) — until heaven becomes barren and the earth grows old; means for an unimaginably long time, or '*until the end of time'
- 按头安利 (àn tóu ān lì) — press someone's head down and give them an Amway-style recommendation; internet slang for aggressively or forcibly promoting something to someone
- 霸霸 (bà ba) — 霸霸, a playful internet variation of 爸爸 (bàba, "daddy"); here jokingly refers to wealthy sponsors or advertisers
- hhhh — internet laughter based on the initial sound of 哈哈哈哈 (hā hā hā hā)
- 金主爸爸 (jīn zhǔ bàba) — financial-backer daddy; internet slang for sponsors, advertisers, or wealthy financial backers
- 脑回路清奇 (nǎo huí lù qīng qí) — brain circuitry that is strangely extraordinary; internet slang for an unusually strange or unexpected way of thinking
- how pay — playful English phonetic pun on 好配 (hǎo pèi), so well matched; "how pay" is used for its sound rather than its English meaning
- 大清都亡啦 (dà qīng dōu wáng la) — even the Great Qing has fallen; a humorous meme-like expression used to mock something as unnecessarily old-fashioned, antiquated, or overly formal
- 绞尽脑汁 (jiǎo jìn nǎo zhī) — to wring one's brain dry; means to think extremely hard in search of a solution
- big胆 (big dǎn) — a humorous Chinese-English mixture based on 大胆 (dà dǎn), great/big courage; jokingly means '*how dare you!'
- 社畜 (shè chù) — company/social livestock; internet slang for an overworked salaried employee or '*corporate slave'
- 第三层 / 第一层 (dì sān céng / dì yī céng) — third layer / first layer; internet metaphor describing different levels of strategic thinking or understanding, with the higher '*layer' implying deeper insight
- 刷新了认知 (shuā xīn le rèn zhī) — refresh one's cognition; metaphor borrowed from 'refreshing' a page, meaning one's previous understanding has been updated or overturned
- 前面的赢了 (qiánmiàn de yíng le) — the one in front/above has won; internet slang meaning the previous commenter has topped everyone else or has the most impressive example
- Don't tell me she's going to try it herself?
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